A piece done by my friend Super Siri on Youtube, of my player and partner duo, Violet and Leo for a fic I made.
https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zerger33
I write PMD Player/Partner Fanfiction over on AO3 go read it if you want.
zerger33 asked:
As a non mutual I offer zero (0) pet but instead one (1) thumbs up from a respectful distance
flareonfloof answered:
if you would like to pet me i will permit it because you seem polite
Gasp! Gives you one (1) polite pat on the head
ive noticed some backlash against stuff like "it's okay if you can't brush your teeth/shower regularly/eat healthy" in the vein of "actually it's unhealthy and youre promoting bad things!!! fucking brush/shower/drink water!!!!!!" and im not. a fan.
i think it comes down to the assumption that executive dysfunction is fundamentally an issue of ignorance or laziness or not taking something seriously enough or not being motivated enough. personally I have constantly been reminded in graphic detail by the abled people in my life of the negative effects of my executive dysfunction. I am not ignorant, it's not that I don't understand how serious self care can be. I have been reminded CONSTANTLY from others & from my body & from myself because it scares me.
Like. look at me. I have literally, multiple times, though to myself "maybe I should just stop eating entirely" because I have been so extremely ashamed of my inability to eat "normally" and "healthy." personally I find water tasty but if someone literally cannot bring themselves to drink water then I hope they drink whatever they can NO EXCEPTIONS! again there's this assumption that if you just scare people enough that they'll suddenly start Trying Hard Enough & that's just. not how it works for a lot of folks.
@msmc101 okay so. i'm going to say this as nice as possible: i don't think you understand what i'm talking about & this is exactly what i mean when i talk about this kind of ableism.
you are assuming that i, and other people who struggle with bathing, are making a decision out of ignorance or lack of understanding. you "understand skipping a day or two" but "skipping" implies a greater deal of control than most of us experience.
you mean well & i appreciate that, but i am not under any illusions that bathing is unnecessary. this is not a helpful comment at all. i do not need you to explain why bathing is important.
above, i mentioned my abled family's reaction to me not brushing my teeth. my mother has only ever meant to help me, but her telling me that not brushing my teeth would result in horrific terrifying illnesses did absolutely nothing to help me. it only made me hate myself for not being able to take care of myself, and gave me terrible panic attacks.
because i know, okay? i know. we know. this is not the result of ignorance.
it sounds like you have not experienced the experience of being literally unable to make yourself bathe for days, weeks, months of end, only being able to wear deodorant or use a wet towel, and having to listen to people like you be the butt of every internet joke about lazy abusive assholes who "can't bother to shower" and having people, similar to you but far less well-meaning, who also "understand skipping a day or two" but think anyone who is a little bit more disabled than that is disgusting and making a gross choice that we deserve to be shamed for.
telling me or anyone else who struggles with bathing "its really important to stay clean" is like telling someone who is stuck in a 100ft whole "its really important for you to not be in a hole." i know. and i probably know a whole lot better than you how much it sucks to be in the hole. i know a whole lot more about the hole, why the hole sucks, how hard it is to get out of the whole, and i have spent more time figuring out how to make the hole even slightly better for myself than you, a stranger, have.
not only is it far better to suggest ways to make bathing/brushing teeth/eating/etc. more accessible, but you know what? sometimes you don't need to comment on people's executive dysfunction. sometimes its okay not to appoint yourself the savior of every disabled person. you can just let us vent & be the experts on our experiences, unless we ask for advice.
Like its not that people are like "meh, I can go another day without showering"
It's begging and pleading and threatening yourself to just GET UP and SHOWER
It's standing there naked in front of the shower for 10 minutes because you're inexplicably* terrified and unable to just get into the water
(*it's not inexplicable! It's executive dysfunction! It still feels like there's No Cause though, even when you know it's executive dysfunction)
It's your brain and body screaming at you when you try to brush your teeth, feeling like you're turning into a hurricane of static and stinging bees, until you give up and just swish some water and toothpaste around in your mouth because at least that's something.
Like it's literally a disability.
Depending on the task, it falls under either ADL or IADL. ADL stands for "activities of daily living" and refers to things like bathing, feeding oneself, and and going to the toilet. IADL stands for "instrumental activities of daily living", and refers to more complex activities like cooking, cleaning, and shopping.
Not bathing can fall under either of those, depending on the person. For me it was that I knew how to bathe, I could bathe myself, but due to executive dysfunction from mental illness I often couldn't get myself to change my clothes, or had to wipe myself down with a wet soapy cloth. So I count myself as struggling with IADL.
Other people struggle with basic activities like they literally cannot ever bathe themselves, they require assistance to bathe and someone to feed them food. ADLs are associated more with physical disabilities and intellectual disabilities.
So basically, yeah we aren't skipping basic hygiene, people are literally disabled and struggle with doing basic tasks.
Reminding people of what will happen only causes more distress.
Reminding people
of what will happen only
causes more distress.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
This line from lysandres wiki is so funny his motivations are truly incomprehensible
Never let them know your next move
here's a random word generator--whatever word it gives you is now the thing you are the deity of
Oh. Cool…
flareonfloof
zerger33 asked:
As a non mutual I offer zero (0) pet but instead one (1) thumbs up from a respectful distance
if you would like to pet me i will permit it because you seem polite
